


The Sad Orphan Kissing Society

by Solshine



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dating, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Modern Era, Multi, Polyamory, Threesome, Threesome - F/F/M, sad cuties being sad and cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-13
Updated: 2013-11-02
Packaged: 2017-12-29 06:27:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1002063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solshine/pseuds/Solshine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eponine likes Marius, who likes Cosette, who likes him back but is waiting for him to ask her out which is never gonna happen, so Eponine, who also likes Cosette, decides she'll take that missed cue, thanks, except they both still like Marius, and all told being in love is almost more complicated than it's worth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Beta by Cloudywithachanceofbuckbeak (currently spookywithachanceofghosts) on tumblr.
> 
> There is now a super delighful podfic recorded by fulldaysdrive and themerrygentleman that you can find attached to the end! Thanks so much, you guys!!!

If Éponine were a good friend, she would text Marius right now.

Marius her best friend. Marius whom she is desperately in love with. Yes, that’s good, focus on how desperately in love she is with Marius, Marius and his freckles, Marius and his smile, Marius who’s spent the last two weeks sighing infuriatingly about a girl called “Cosette” and giving a scarily accurate description of the blonde angel sitting at the corner table of the deli where Éponine works. The blonde angel who Éponine just happens to recognize from a long, long time ago, and oh my god, it isn’t possible that Marius has been swooning all this time over _Éponine’s parents’ old foster kid_.

It is even less possible that her parents’ skinny, flinching old foster kid grew up to be _that._

She’s sitting all alone reading a book, and Éponine is just standing there, staring at her, the milk carafe she was supposed to be refilling in her hand. Cosette’s forehead is creased in delicate concentration and she’s pushing a strand of hair out of her face and she is as radiant as the goddamn dawn and— No! Think of Marius. The Marius you’re in love with. If you really loved Marius, you would text him and tell him to come get his dream girl’s number. No, wait…

If she was a good friend, she would text him in spite of the fact that she’s in love with him. That’s it.

…If she were a bad friend, she would go over and try to get Cosette’s number herself.

Except she’s a good friend, and she’s in love with Marius.

Cosette shifts from leaning on her forearms to settling her chin in one hand, and props the book up on its spine to continue reading, so now Éponine can see the cover and _oh my god_ she’s reading _A Wrinkle in Time_ and that was one of Éponine’s favorite books as a kid and and she should just check to see if Cosette turned out to be a lesbian first, right, just to save Marius the heartache?

“Ponine! Chop chop!” shouts her boss.

Éponine is one part terrified Cosette will recognize the name and look up and one part hoping she will, but she doesn’t.

“Right! Yes, coming!” She hurries back behind the counter and refills the milk carafe like she was meant to, and then excuses herself immediately on a smoke break.

**Éponine**  
 _Hey i think that girl uve been stalking is here at the cafe_  
 **Marius**  
 _Cosette?? How do you know????_  
 **Éponine**  
 _Some friend of hers called her cosette idk but she looks just like u said_  
 **Marius**  
 _Shes there with a friend then? What’s she doing?????_  
 **Éponine**  
 _Nah they left shes drinking coffee n readin a book_  
 **Marius**  
 _What’s the book_  
 **Éponine**  
 _Idk it’s a book r u coming or not??_  
 **Marius**  
 _Would that be creepy of me_  
 **Éponine**  
 _Fine dont come_

She knows Marius too well to hope. He’s there in ten minutes, coming through the front door of the deli as nervously as a rabbit venturing out of its hole, ready to dart away again at a moment’s notice. Éponine rolls her eyes and scrubs at a dish tensely. Maybe they’ll hate each other.

They don’t hate each other. Marius hovers for a minute or so before perching on the edge of a chair at an adjacent table, and just _sitting_ there, fiddling with the salt shaker, not ordering any food, not looking directly at Cosette. But when Cosette puts down her book in preparation to go get a refill on her coffee, she sees him and her face lights up. Dammit, dammit, _dammit._ So much for Marius’s claims that Cosette probably didn’t even know who he was. She’d wonder how even Marius could be oblivious to someone liking him so much, but… well.

Marius hurries over and sits down at her table, and Éponine can’t hear what they’re talking about but they’re both doing a lot of adorable blushing, and probably stammering on Marius’ part, and Éponine is furious with herself. Screw being a good friend. She is never being a good friend to anyone ever again.

But then something interesting happens. Something Éponine, to be honest, probably should have seen coming, and that’s that Marius doesn’t seem to get past the stammering stage. When Éponine makes the excuse to go over and refill ketchup bottles at nearby tables to eavesdrop, Cosette is being sweet and patient, but it seems the more she smiles and encourages him the more Marius stumbles over his own tongue. Finally he excuses himself hurriedly and just about runs for the door, leaving Cosette disappointed blinking behind him.

Éponine returns to the kitchen for a private victory dance. Sure, they’d gotten along, but they do not, as far as she can tell, have a date, and Éponine still gets to be the good friend.

She peeks out the porthole in the kitchen door. Cosette is frowning at the door through which Marius disappeared, the prettiest perplexed frown Éponine has ever seen in her life. She can see the blue of Cosette’s eyes from _here._

Maybe Éponine is only an okay friend.

She strips off her apron and throws it on a hook. “Feuilly, I’m taking my lunch.”

“You took a smoke break fifteen minutes ago!” objects the beleaguered cook. Éponine is already out the door.

She walks out to Cosette’s table and stands at her elbow for a moment until Cosette looks up from her book and smiles. God, what a smile.

“Hi, I’m a friend of Marius. I think he was just in here?”

“Oh yes!” says Cosette, her smile broadening. “He’s in my world history class. We hadn’t really talked before. He’s very sweet.”

“Yeah,” says Éponine, a little wistfully in spite of her best efforts. “He is.” Cosette starts to look knowingly at her, so Éponine coughs and moves on. “Uh, actually, you probably don’t remember me…”

“No, I do,” says Cosette eagerly. “I mean, I don’t, but you look really familiar.”

Éponine takes a deep breath. “Yeah, my parents took foster kids.” She waits and watches the recognition dawn, as well as the smile that distinctly doesn’t come.

“Oh,” Cosette says. “Ep… Éponine, right?”

Éponine nods. “Wasn’t really the best first impression, I know.”

“No, no,” says Cosette quickly. “I mean, it was mostly…” She fidgets. “It wasn’t so much… mostly it was…”

“My parents?” Éponine supplies. “You don’t have to be diplomatic about it. They’re terrible people, that’s not really a secret. I sure got out of there as fast as I could.”

Cosette relaxes. “Yeah, it was mostly them,” she says. “I don’t really blame you.”

“Probably should,” says Éponine, stuffing her hands in her pockets. “You look like you did good, though.”

Cosette does smile at that. “Yeah, my dad is really great. Won’t you sit down?”

Well at least Cosette doesn’t hate her enough from back in the day to chase Éponine away immediately. Éponine sits down. “You’re at university, right? What’re you studying?”

Cosette’s smile gets bigger, the smile of someone when you’ve brought up something they love. It’s an even better smile than the first one.

“Social work and education,” she says.

Éponine smirks, not unkindly. “Using your own unfortunate experience to bring hope to the other victims of the vicious system?”

“Something like that,” Cosette laughs. “How about you? What’re you studying, I mean?”

“Oh, I’m not in college,” Éponine replies, waving the question off quickly. “Is the book for a class?”

They sit and talk for ten minutes past Éponine’s half hour break, before another customer comes in and Feuilly sticks his head out of the kitchen.

“Éponine!”

She leaps up. “Right, I gotta get back to work. Uh, before I go, full disclosure I guess.”

Cosette’s perfect blonde left eyebrow goes up. “Okay…”

“I know Marius was gonna try to ask you out. He totally didn’t do it, did he?”

Cosette sighs. “No,” she admits.

“Okay, then I’d like to take his missed opportunity.” Cosette looks blank. “Uh. Would you like to. Get coffee? Sometime?”

Cosette blinks. “Oh. Oh! I’m, um. I—”

“You’re straight, right, yeah. Worth a shot.”

“No, I— I mean, I’ve just never—”

“It’s fine, it’s okay, forget it. I’m gonna go back to work, it was great catching up.”

“No, wait,” Cosette insists, and Éponine stops in spite of herself. “Um, can I…?” She gestures to the pen behind Éponine’s ear. Éponine hands it to her hesitantly. Cosette takes her whole hand instead of just the pen, and it feels like an electric shock up Éponine’s arm. Which is nothing compared to when Cosette uncaps the pen with her teeth and holds out Éponine’s arm to write something on it. Something that’s a phone number.

“Call me,” Cosette adds needlessly, and smiles, and this is definitely the best smile yet. Éponine feels a little dizzy.

“Yeah,” she says. “Yeah, totally, I will.”

“Éponine! Customer!” shouts Feuilly from the kitchen.

Éponine returns to her post, with only one glance over her shoulder on the way. Cosette is still smiling.

 

\---

 

Their first date is just two days later, coffee and muffins at a Starbucks. When they’ve ordered and found their table, Éponine grins over at the other girl.

“All right, now that we’re here you can admit it. You’re straight, aren’t you?”

“No!” says Cosette, frowning, but seeing the laughter in Cosette’s eyes she smiles. “No, I just… have never been asked out by a girl. That’s not the same thing.”

“No, it’s not,” agreed Éponine, hiding her smirk behind her coffee.

“And I wasn’t exactly expecting it,” Cosette adds. “Even with the ‘full disclosure’ preface, which I still don’t entirely understand.”

“Well, you know. I was aware Marius wanted to ask you out, so that makes me kind of a terrible friend.” (It’s okay, she’s come to terms with ‘terrible.’) “That seemed like something you should know before coffee.”

Cosette bites her lip in consideration, but ends up shaking her head. “No, you let him try first,” she says. “I think that’s fair.”

Éponine grins again. “The usual line is ‘All’s fair,’” she points out.

Cosette sticks out her chin. “Well, all isn’t,” she says. “But I think this is.”

“So what’s your story since I last saw you, anyway?” says Éponine. “What came between the skinny foster kid and glowing social work major stages of your life? You said you ended up with a nice dad, right?"

"Oh yeah, he’s wonderful. He knew my mom, I guess? Although she'd died by the time he adopted me and he doesn't talk about her much. Then we moved here pretty straightaway. We live out in the suburbs. Dad's kind of a homebody. I dunno. That's kind of it, that’s my story. Nothing very dramatic." She shrugs and grins and breaks a piece off her muffin. "I sketch, I golf, when I was little I wanted to be an Olympic gymnast and save the rainforest."

"Now, here's where my real questions start," Éponine says. "The Olympic gymnast thing and the saving of the rainforest, did those go together? Was doing one gonna help you do the other? Or maybe you were going to do both at the same time, go to South America and do your balance beam routine on the branch of an endangered tree? Or is it just that every gymnast needs a hobby?"

Cosette is laughing again as Éponine takes a bite of her muffin. "Clearly the gymnastics would have been my hobby. Saving rainforests is full-time work."

"I wouldn't know, I've never saved one," Éponine admits, brushing muffin crumbs from her chin. "I defer to your expertise. Hey, did you finish Wrinkle?”

“Not yet,” says Cosette. “Too much schoolwork. I’m to Aunt Beast, though. I like her so much.”

“I used to pretend I had an Aunt Beast,” smiles Éponine. “When I was little. My mom had this holey old fur cape thing, and I used to steal it and curl up against it and close my eyes and imagine it was her.”

Cosette is smiling back in a small, quiet, sympathetic way that makes Éponine realize for the first time how pathetic that sounds when she says it out loud. She clamps her mouth shut and glues her eyes to her coffee cup. But when, after a moment, Cosette speaks, it’s not in a tone Éponine’s expecting and she looks up again.

“When I was little I could have used a Charles Wallace most,” says Cosette, looking down at her own coffee. “I always wished I had a brother or sister, but I think my dad kind of fell into adopting me, he wasn't up for another."

"I bet you had plenty of friends, though," says Éponine.

"Not really," says Cosette. "Dad's a loner and therefore so was I. It was mostly just me and him. I never really got the knack for making friends," she shrugs with a smile. Éponine pauses and frowns over her muffin.

"Never got the hang of it? Wait, but surely now you're, like, the PR chair of your sorority and the secretary of your chapter of Young Professionals or whatever, right?"

Cosette giggles and ducks her head. "Do I give that impression? No, I'm actually pretty quiet. I mean, I know people—from my classes and things—but I don't really have a lot of friends." They’re quiet for a moment "I mean," she says, tentative, "I guess we’re friends now, right?"

“Ouch,” says Éponine amiably.

Cosette’s eyes widen. “No, no, I didn’t mean—I want to do this again, definitely. I just mean… well, we can be both, can’t we? We can be friends and… and dating,” she says, coloring.

“Yeah,” smirks Éponine. “Yeah, I think we can do that.”

Cosette holds her coffee with both hands, and smiles one of the happiest smiles Éponine has ever seen.

\--- 

The next time she sees Marius, it’s Thursday and she’s humming as she mops up the deli floor. He bounds across the room with his signature Marius puppiness and gives her a hug. Proof positive, she thinks yet again, that the girl-shy Marius doesn’t see her as anything remotely female.

“Hi, ’Ponine,” he says cheerily. “Sorry I haven’t been in lately. How’ve you been?”  
“Oh, I’m fine, just been busy,” she says. She can hardly look him in the eye, especially when she sees him do a quick scan of the room.

“Has Cosette come in at all?”

“Yeah. No. I dunno, maybe. I haven’t really been paying attention.” She mops more intently.

“I didn’t manage to ask her out last time,” he confides. “I chickened out. I’m gonna do it next time I see her though, I’ve made up my mind!”

“Don’t you see her twice a week in class?” she says. Marius ducks his head sheepishly.

“Yeah, well, we leave the classroom at different times a lot, and she’s got people she talks to as she leaves, and I dunno, there’s… just never a good moment,” he explains.

“Yeah, and you don’t want her to think you’re stalking her, especially after you met her in here,” Éponine agrees. Marius’s eyes widen.

“Oh god, do you think she thinks I’m stalking her?”

“How should I know?” she snaps.

“Right, sorry.” He rubs a hand through his hair in distress. Éponine resists the urge to reach up and smooth it back down. “I just don’t want her to think I’m weird.”

Éponine sighs. “No, I’m sorry,” she says. “I’m sure she thinks you’re lovely.” Just one more addition to the impressive assortment of awfuls in her stomach is the fact that she knows Cosette thinks he’s lovely and if he does manage to ask her out, Éponine can’t be sure she won’t be out in the cold. (All’s fair.)

Marius smiles. “Thanks Éponine. Will you text me if she comes in?”

“Uh, I. I dunno. I mean, sure. But I’m not working much here this week.”

“Oh no, are they cutting your hours again?”

“No, no, it’s just, uh. A temporary thing. It’s just this week.”

“Still, that sucks, you need the money. You need to tell them so. Remind them about Gavroche.”

“I do. I mean, I’ll tell them again,” says Éponine, keeping her eyes on the little puddle of dirty water she’s pushing around on the floor. “Thanks, Marius.”

He gives her another quick hug. “I gotta go, I was just dropping in. I’ll see you soon." He heads for the door. “Don’t forget to text me if Cosette comes in!” he calls over his shoulder, and she smiles feebly and waves goodbye.

As soon as he is gone she drops the mop and runs into the kitchen. There’s nobody there but Feuilly, cleaning up in preparation for the end of his shift.

“Where’s the boss? I gotta reduce my hours this week,” she says. He looks up and frowns.

“He’s not in yet. Why? You can’t afford to reduce your hours.”

“I know! I mean, I’ll be fine. I mean, can I work in the back for a week?”

“Don’t ask me. What’s all this about, what’s wrong?”

She flops against a wall, groaning. “I promised Marius I’d text him if Cosette came in.”

“Cosette… that isn’t that girl you’ve been seeing?” Éponine nods miserably. Feuilly shuts off the sink and reaches for a rag, wearing an expression of great concentration as he attempts to understand. “Okay. And you’re texting him so that he can…”

“Ask her out.”

“And this is… the Marius you’re in love with.”

“Yeah.”

He squints at her for a moment, then shakes his head, throwing the rag back on its hook. “Nope. You’ve finally succeeded in turning your life into an over-complicated romantic comedy and I’m not even gonna try to figure it out.”

“I don’t want to turn my life into a romantic comedy!” she protests. “Or anyway, I never wanted a complicated one!”

“Well, don’t reduce your work hours for goodness sake,” Feuilly says, rolling his eyes. “Just, I don’t know. Lose your phone or something.” Éponine’s eyes light up as Feuilly shakes his head. “That’s how I know you’re in trouble. Normally you’re the tricky one.”

“Yeah, well, love makes me stupid,” Éponine admits. “Thanks. Go get some sleep.”

“Four blissful hours and then off to push boxes around,” he sighs, pulling off his apron.

“And class in the morning,” Éponine points out cheerfully. Feuilly groans and throws the apron at her head.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops! Just realized this fic was marked as a oneshot. It's not, these kids are going to figure themselves out eventually! Chapter 2 also betaed by cloudywithachanceofbuckbeak on tumblr. :)

Éponine and Cosette go bowling for their next date, which is Cosette’s idea, which is adorable. Éponine’s been bowling maybe once in her life, years ago, and she kind of remembers quitting halfway through to go play Mrs. Pac-Man at the alley’s arcade.

“It isn’t a milk bottle toss,” Cosette laughs after one of Éponine’s attempts. “You don’t need to throw it. There are no extra points for loft.”

“Well, maybe there should be,” says Éponine, putting on mock defensiveness mostly to make Cosette laugh again. “It’s hard enough. That ain’t no wiffleball.” It works, and Cosette laughs. “You have a great laugh,” she points out.

Cosette blushes, which is possibly even better than the laugh. She presses her hands to her pink cheeks and smiles, then takes her turn bowling. Éponine doesn’t know enough to actually comment on Cosette’s form, but she looks pretty amazing. And she bowls a spare, so she must have done something right.

“So you got my story last time,” says Cosette as Éponine picks up her ball. She bowls straight into the gutter. "I want to hear yours."  
“No you don’t,” says Éponine. “It’s not much fun.”

“If you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine,” says Cosette. “Just don’t skip it because you think I’m not interested.”

Éponine waits for her ball to be returned without speaking, then knocks down three pins. She chews on the inside of her cheek as her pins reset.

“Well, like, you met my parents,” she says, her tone matter-of-fact. Cosette nods. “Yeah. They’re pretty much like that… you know, all the time. As much as the terrible, terrible idea of taking foster kids sucked for the foster kids—it eventually ended up getting somebody to clue in about how they were the worst.” Cosette takes her turn bowling, doesn’t stare at Éponine while she speaks, but Éponine can feel her listening.

“So yeah, I got my turn in the foster system, with people thankfully much better than you got. Emancipated minor, grabbed my little brother Gavroche when I got old enough to get approved. Azelma, maybe you remember her—did the emancipated minor thing too, on her own. I offered to let her stay with me but she wanted to do her own thing, which is cool. I think she’s gunning for a college scholarship these days.”

“So Gavroche still lives with you?” asks Cosette. “That’s really cool. How old is he?”

“Ten,” says Éponine. “Fourth grade. He’s crazy smart and he knows it, gives me a hell of a time.” She warns herself to stop talking, she sounds like a mom, nobody wants to date a girl with a kid. But Cosette’s just smiling, and it’s not a polite or a forced smile. It’s just nice, it’s bright and interested and kind of admiring. It’s miles from the “you’re so brave” schtick, but it’s also good to be looked at like someone worth looking at. It’s really good.

Éponine bowls two solid gutter balls, then turns back around and bows, to Cosette's laughter and applause.

“What’s Azelma trying for a scholarship in, do you know?” Cosette says as she gets up to take her turn.

“It’s some kind of essay thing,” she says. “Hell if I know.” Cosette bowls a strike. Éponine can’t seem to stop grinning.

 

\---

"This is ridiculous," says Marius.

"Agreed," says Courfeyrac, carefully folding the flier he was handed on their walk across campus. Marius fiddles with his notebook on the desk in front of him.

"I'm just going to ask her out," he says.

"Good idea," says Courfeyrac.

"When she comes in, I'll just… say hi, how are you doing, I was wondering… That's too abrupt, that's gonna be weird."

"Marius…" Courfeyrac sighs. He tears off a clean strip from the flier along a fold.

"I don't want to be weird," Marius frets.

"God forbid," agrees Courfeyrac.

"You're not helping," Marius points out. Courfeyrac sighs again, his best longsuffering sigh, as he continues to fold the flier.

"I have no help for you, dude. I am a wellspring of perfect advice but even I have got nothing for asking a girl out without asking her out or you not being weird."

"You think she thinks I'm weird?" Marius whimpers.

"I think you can hardly help but be weird, my weird friend. But plenty of people like weird." He sharpens a crease with his fingernail. "But by all means, put it off longer. Somebody else will beat you to the punch and I'll finally be able to ignite that fireworks show I have set up waiting on top of the student union that spells 'I told you so' in the sky over the quad in gold glitter."

Cosette Fauchelevent walks in, down the classroom aisle, and takes her seat a few rows in front of the two boys. She must feel Marius’s eyes on her, because she turns around and throws him a bright, warm smile.

After she turns back around, there is a brief silence before Marius moans quietly and puts his forehead down on the desk. Courfeyrac opens up the transformed flier, tucking down the point of one end into a beak.

"Better luck Thursday, buddy," he says, perching his origami crane in Marius's hair.

\---

“I met somebody,” Cosette blurts into a pause in supper conversation. Her father looks up from his meal in surprise. Cosette punctuates her statement with a quick smile, and then returns to studiously mixing ketchup into her mashed potatoes with her fork.

“That’s excellent news,” Valjean says, very nearly as though he means it. He licks his lips uncertainly. “Uh, you mean met someone as in…?”

“As in I’m seeing somebody,” she says.

Valjean smiles encouragingly despite his sinking heart. “That’s great, dear. What’s his name?”

Cosette keeps her eyes on her mashed potatoes that are slowly turning pink. “Éponine,” she says after a long pause. The name is followed by a still longer one. She dares a glance up from her plate, to find her father staring at her blankly.

“Éponine,” he says finally.

“Yeah,” she replies. Another silence.

“That’s a girl’s name,” he clarifies. She nods. He nods too, slowly. “Is… he… a girl?”

“Yes, Papa,” Cosette says. Valjean cuts a piece of his Salisbury steak, puts it in his mouth, chews it. Cosette is holding her breath. Valjean swallows.

“Well, we’ll have to have her over to supper,” he says. “What’s she like?”

Cosette lets her breath out in a gust. Her smile is radiant. “Oh Papa,” she says. “She’s wonderful.”

 

\----

 

“God, you don’t even know, you should’ve seen her,” Éponine sighs to Feuilly. They are sitting in their favorite laundromat, drinking Dunkin coffee at six in the morning, watching their laundry spin in the washing machines. It’s just before class for Feuilly and work for Éponine, one of the few times the two both aren’t busy. “She had on this pink dress thing and silver earrings and cream-colored jeans and she looked like a flower. And then we rented these big terrible blue and green bowling shoes, they were the worst, and she didn’t look stupid at all, she stood there, this fairy in bowling shoes, and she smiled like Miss America and bowled like a league champion. I dunno, Feuilly, I think I’m in love.”

“And let me guess, instead of going home you sat out in the parking lot and talked for hours,” he smiles.

Éponine smirks back at him. “Well, we did hang out in the parking lot for hours,” she says. “And it was mostly talking.”

Feuilly yawns and smiles at her, and takes a sip of his coffee. “It’s really good to see you so happy,” he says. “And it’s really good to hear you talking this way about someone who isn’t Marius.” Éponine’s face immediately falls, and Feuilly sighs. “Oh no, I jinxed it. What, are you still into Marius, then?”

Éponine slumps down in the plastic seat. “Finding the most perfect girl ever doesn’t mean my brain gets an automatic love reset,” she mutters into her coffee. Then she looks pleadingly at Feuilly. “I mean, it will eventually, right? I have to get over either one or the other. I mean, Cosette is so pretty and cheerful and smart and amazing, and Marius is cute and sweet and kind and worries about me. _Ugh._ ” She covers her face with her hand not laden with coffee. Feuilly reaches into the paper bag between them and holds out a doughnut silently. She takes it.

“Your life is very complicated, sweetheart,” he says. Éponine just groans.

\---

 

Courfeyrac would have been pleased to find that his words in class had actually had some influence on Marius after all, though it takes a full week and a half to kick in. He sees Cosette from across a campus courtyard, smiling at her phone, her hair loose down her back and shining in the sun, and he doesn’t understand why every single person passing her doesn’t ask for her number.

Somebody else will beat you to the punch, he hears Courfeyrac say in his head.

Before he can think too hard about it, he dashes across the plaza, jumping a chain barrier like a track star and stumbling to a stop just behind Cosette. She turns around, surprised, to find him disarrayed and panting, cheeks pink with the run and ears pink with shyness.

“Hi,” he says.

“Hi,” she replies, blushing too.

“Before I can stop myself— I’ve been meaning to say this for a while, but I— I was just wondering if—” If Marius were focusing on more than getting the words out, he would have seen Cosette’s face fall. “Cosettewouldyouliketogogetcoffeesometime?” he says all in a rush.

When he finally registers Cosette, he assumes the pained look on her face is for him, and his flush deepens to a mortified red.

“Yeah, actually never mind, sorry I mentioned it,” he says, and starts to turn around.

“No, Marius, I… I’m so sorry, I’m seeing… somebody now.” She chews her lip. “I just started but I’m really happy and— oh Marius, I’m really sorry.”

She looks so regretful about it that even Marius Pontmercy can pick up that she would say yes if she could, but that hardly makes him feel any better.

“Right,” he mumbles. “Yeah, of course. Sorry.” He turns around and rushes out before she can say another word.

Somebody’s going to beat you to the punch.

The last person he can face in this moment, besides Cosette, is Courfeyrac. So he goes to the only other friend he has. He goes to Éponine.

 

\---

 

Marius  
Are you free can we get frozen yogurt?? Something happened  
Éponine  
Can be on lunch break by time u get there will meet u

She knows what it’s about, obviously. And she supposes it’s a little late to kick in with being a good friend. But the least she owes Marius is a frozen yogurt.

When he arrives she’s already paying for both, and she nods him to their usual table, her heart hammering and her stomach tying itself in Eagle Scout level knots by the time she’s carrying it over—vanilla with strawberries for her, chocolate with cookies and rainbow sprinkles for him. Marius’s face is a mask of misery.

“Hey,” she says gently. He takes his frozen yogurt with a murmured thanks, then sits looking down into it with hound dog eyes, muddling the cookies and sprinkles about with his spoon.

“Cosette’s dating someone,” he says after a long silence. His chin is set in the way it gets when he’s trying to be stoic, but it’s working about as well for him as it always does, and he’s blinking with suspicious vehemence at his gooifying sprinkles. Éponine doesn’t trust herself to speak. Marius takes a small, morose bite of his yogurt. She waits.

Finally, he takes a deep breath. “And it wouldn’t even be so bad—I mean, it would, but it’s worse because she said she just started seeing him, and she seemed like she really would’ve said yes if I’d asked earlier, and I don’t think things like that unless they’re almost definitely true, you know I don’t, and that means it’s my fault, and Courfeyrac said this would happen. Oh no, ’Ponine, what’s wrong?”

Éponine looks nearly as miserable as Marius does, though her eyes are not so damp.

“It’s me!” she blurts. “It’s me, Cosette is dating me. I asked her out the day she came to the deli, after you didn’t manage it. I am so sorry, I’m so sorry Marius.”

To Éponine’s consertation, Marius seems to actually gain composure. He pulls himself together and sits a little straighter.

“It’s fine,” he says, his voice still a little bit trembly but definitely his ‘comforting Éponine’ voice. “It’s fine, ’Ponine, it’s okay.”

“You pushover, of course it’s not okay,” she scowls, tears only now coming to her eyes. She swipes at them angrily. “Why would it be okay?”

“Well,” says Marius slowly, “you’re my friend. And I want you to be happy. And Cosette too, and she said she was really happy.”

“This is why you never have good things,” she says. She’s nearly shouting. “Because you let people take them from you!”

He shrugs. “Well, what am I supposed to do? Hate you?”

“Yes!” She stabs her spoon viciously into her yogurt and falls back into her chair. Marius shakes his head.

“I can’t. How could I? If we weren’t friends I’d—” He stops and looks at Éponine, glaring at him, her dark eyes shiny with tears. He swallows. “I’d miss you.” He looks back down at his melting yogurt. “I should go,” he says. “I don’t want you to be late back to work.”

Éponine doesn’t bring up what she’s pretty sure he knows, that she’s got a full twenty minutes left on her lunch break. She just sighs.

“I’m sorry Marius,” she says again. He gives her a wobbly smile.

“It’s okay,” he says. “It’s fine.” He gets up and goes, leaving his full frozen yogurt behind on the table. Éponine sits staring at it for a couple of minutes, then gets up and throws both cups away.

 

\---

 

Courfeyrac comes back to their dorm from class to find Marius sitting on his bed and eating Courfeyrac’s Oreo stash.

“Sorry,” he says. “I’ll replace them.” Courfeyrac eyes him. Marius in a funk is not exactly difficult to spot.

“What happened?” he asks. Marius’s chin trembles threateningly, but he holds it together.

“You can use your fireworks show now,” he says.

“Oh no, she’s got a boyfriend?”

“A girlfriend,” he says, twisting an Oreo open. “She’s dating Éponine.”

“Wait, Éponine?” Courfeyrac squints in confusion. “Éponine is a lesbian? That doesn’t make any sense.”

“No, she’s bi. Why doesn’t that make sense?”

“Ohhh. Okay, got it. Never mind. Tell me what happened, I’ll order a pizza. God, Marius, you poor bastard. This could only happen to you.”

Marius sighs pitifully. “Believe me,” he says. “I know.”

 

\---

 

Éponine  
Can we just get burgers don’t feel like movie 2night  
Cosette  
Yeah, of course :)

Cosette spots Éponine in a booth at the agreed-upon burger spot and starts to smile as she crosses the room.

“I talked to Marius today and it’s okay if you want to date him,” Éponine says as soon as Cosette approaches the booth.

Cosette’s smile is shocked off her face and she stops short just before she sits down.

“What?” is all she can say.

“He said he asked you out today and he said you really acted like you wanted to say yes. Which I get. So if you want to, it’s okay. I mean, I’ll be okay.” She’s twisting her paper napkin into a rope, first one way and then the other. Cosette looks stricken as she sits down.

“I didn’t tell him it was you!” she says. “I mean, I knew you were friends and it would probably be sticky, so I just said I was seeing somebody. He must have figured it out, but I didn’t tell him.”

In spite of herself, Éponine laughs fondly. “Marius? Figure it out?” She shakes her head. “No, he came to tell me about it as a friend and I told him myself.”

Cosette winces. “Was he very upset, then?”

Éponine grimaces down at her wrinkled napkin. “He’s… a sensitive soul.”

“I can tell,” Cosette nods.

“See, you should totally be together,” whimpers Éponine. “You can tell right off that Marius is very… is very Marius, and you’d probably be all sweet and careful with him, while I’ve known him for years and I still treat him like he’s tough enough to take it.”

“Stop it, I’m not breaking up with you!”

“It wouldn’t even be breaking up really, “ assures Éponine. “We haven’t been dating that long, it’s okay.”

“Stop saying it’s okay!” Cosette says. “Stop it! I don’t want to break up with you or stop dating you or whatever you’re trying to call it. I don’t.”

“But you want to date Marius,” Éponine points out. Cosette opens her mouth, then closes it again. She pauses just a moment too long. “You do! I promise it’s fine, I’m –”

“I like Marius,” says Cosette carefully. “I like him a lot, he’s lovely. And I used to really wish he’d ask me out. But now I’m dating you and I… I don’t have any interest in any plan that involves not dating you. Okay?”

Éponine sighs. “I’m just… trying to be selfless. It’s not a thing I do often. You and Marius are both all kind and generous and all those things only people in cheesy movies are.”

Cosette reaches across the table and takes Éponine’s hand. She laces their fingers together, then lifts their hands to her face and pecks a kiss on Éponine’s knuckles. “Stop.”

The waitress (who wisely waited until the two girls had stopped arguing before coming over) lays their menus in front of them.

“Actually,” says Cosette, still holding Éponine’s hand, “I think we could just use some pie.”

 

\--- 

Although Cosette leaves her with stern instructions not to beat herself up about things, it doesn’t do Éponine much good. Gavroche sits at the kitchen table with his homework, eyeballing his sister warily as she stirs a saucepan full of pudding on the stove a little harder than is absolutely necessary.

“Didn’t you say you only had pie for dinner?” he says.

“No, I would never have said something like that,” she replies. “Because pie is not a meal.”

“And now you’re making pudding.”

“Shut up.”

“You make me eat green beans.”

Éponine points the wooden spoon at her little brother. “I didn’t make you eat green beans tonight, I let you have pop tarts and cheez-its for dinner because I’m a terrible sister, so shut your trap.”

“Nah,” says Gavroche. “That makes you a cool sister. You’re just a terrible mom.”

Éponine rolls her eyes. “Thanks ever so, that makes me feel much better.”

“Welcome.” Gavroche pops a cheez-it. “So did you fight with your girlfriend?”

She slams the spoon on the counter, splattering hot pudding. “Shut the hell up and do your homework, I’m not telling you again!”

“Good, it was getting boring. What’d you fight about?”

“We didn’t fight!”

“Uh-huh.”

Éponine grabs a paper towel, and mops up the pudding on the counter. “It was about a boy. But it wasn’t a fight.”

“A boy?” He eats another cheez-it thoughtfully. “You’re not very good at this gay thing.”

“I’m not gay and you know it, you little turd.”

“I’m just saying, you could at least fight about a girl.” Éponine doesn’t respond. Gavroche fills in a problem on his math sheet. “Was it about Marius?”

“Yeah.”

“She found out you like him?”

Éponine lets some of the pudding drip into the pot with the spoon to test the consistency. “Nah, she likes him.”

Gavroche’s eyebrows go up. “You have weird problems,” he informs her.

“That’s what Feuilly said. More or less.”

“What kind of pudding is it?”

“Tapioca.”

Gavroche makes a face. “Gross. Make me hot chocolate.”

“No, you’ve had enough junk.” She taps off the spoon on the side of the saucepan and moves the pudding off the heat. “I’ll warm up some soup for us if you want.”

“Yeah, okay,” he says, and goes back to his homework.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Third chapter beta by graintaire on tumblr!

“Relax,” says Courfeyrac. “Probably she won’t even look you in the eye.”

“Yeah, because she’s horribly embarrassed for me,” Marius groans, drooping into his classroom seat.

“No, because the whole situation is horribly awkward, not just you,” corrects Courfeyrac. “Anyway, remember, you’re the one who got the I-almost-wish-I-didn’t-have-a-hot-girlfriend-because-I-want-a-piece-of-that. I’ve gotten that maybe twice, three times.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better,” Marius sighs. “I don’t want them to fight or anything because of me.”

A lavender-nailed hand comes to rest on the desktop next to Marius. When he sees it he nearly jumps out of his skin.

“Cosette! Hi!” he gulps.

“Hi,” she says. “Hi Courfeyrac. Hey, Marius, can I talk to you after class?”

Marius is wide-eyed in terror. “Uh. Yeah. Sure. Of course. Yes.” 

She smiles. “Okay. Thanks.” She turns around and heads up to her seat.

Courfeyrac gives a low whistle.

“Oh god, I think I’m going to throw up,” mutters Marius.

“Want me to run on ahead and get us frappes after class so you can drown your sorrows in delicious frozen beverages, or would you rather I stick around?” Courfeyrac offers.

“Maybe it won’t even be that bad,” says Marius. “Maybe she just wants to talk about homework or something.” Courfeyrac looks at him. Marius sighs. “Frappes would be nice.”

If talking to a girl is already a Herculean task, talking to his dream girl with which he already has complicated drama and with anticipative warning ahead of time is so much worse. By the time the class ends he is a wreck of nerves. The students begin to file out, including Cosette, and Courfeyrac pats Marius’s shoulder reassuringly. 

Marius takes his time gathering up his things, until he realizes Cosette can probably guess he’s stalling, at which point he hurries so much he drops his textbook twice. He is the last out of the classroom and bursts out of the doors in a flurry.

Cosette is standing there, leaning against the opposite wall, cradling her bookbag to her chest. She smiles, and despite his frayed state, it is enough to make Marius smile too.

“I wanted to talk to you about Éponine,” she says. “You’ve known each other for a while, right?”

“You should definitely not break up with her,” he blurts.

Her answering smile hangs crooked on her mouth. “Funny, she said just the opposite.”

He sighs. “Sounds like ’Ponine.”

Cosette nods her head toward the building door, and Marius follows her out.

“I’ve known her for a few years now,” he says. “I go to that deli she works at a lot.” He doesn’t know what else to say, so he doesn’t say anything. Cosette speaks again after a moment of walking.

“You said it sounds like her. She didn’t seem to think so—she said she was trying to be selfless for once.”

“Which is ridiculous, right?” he says emphatically. Cosette can’t help but smile as his nervousness dissolves in his defense of Éponine. “She’s just about the most selfless… I met her when she was in the middle of finalizing the thing with Gavroche. Has she told you about that?” Cosette nods. Marius grins. “Have you met him?”

“Not yet,” she says.

“He’s great, he really is. And it was such a huge thing, and she was really defensive about it. And she’s like that, you know?” He stuffs his hands in his pockets. “I think… I think she feels like she stole Gavroche, and like she barely escaped her parents, and she never reports the leaks and things in her place because she thinks she’s got to lie low and not draw her landlord’s attention. And now you.”

“She didn’t… _steal_ me from you,” Cosette frowns. Marius’s eyes widen. 

“Oh no, no, I know, of course not, no! I just meant, you know, that’s how she feels,” he explains. “Which is dumb, but it’s Éponine. I mean—I don’t mean Éponine’s dumb, just…”

“I know,” Cosette assures him.

“It’s the only reason I can think why she didn’t just… _tell_ me that she was gonna ask you out. Or tell me after the fact, or whatever. Surely she knows I’d have been fine with it.”

“You would’ve?” says Cosette. “You wouldn’t have wanted one chance, just in case?”

Marius shrugs. “Éponine deserves to be happy,” he says.

Cosette cocks her head curiously. “And you don’t?”

Marius colors. “I… I didn’t say that.” Cosette just looks at him. “Well, I mean… having the guts to go after happiness. It’s kind of one of the first parts of deserving it, isn’t it?”

“I…” Cosette’s eyebrows wrinkle. “I’ve… never thought about it like that.”

Marius just shrugs again.

They are approaching the campus Starbucks now, where Courfeyrac is waiting at a table with two cups and watching their approach through the window.

“Well, I won’t keep you,” says Cosette.

 _Please keep me,_ Marius almost says. Despite how reluctant he was to talk to her, he’s more reluctant still to leave. He wishes he had something more to say, something interesting. She’d seemed interested when he said the thing about happiness. He suspects it was deep.

“Well… he says. Cosette waits . “I’ll… see you Tuesday,” he says. She smiles, as though it was something interesting to say after all. She waves goodbye and walks away, leaving Marius watching her go, oblivious to Courfeyrac knocking on the window of the Starbucks.

 

\---

 

Cosette is sitting at their breakfast bar doing her homework, the news on the TV with the volume just a little too low to understand. Valjean comes in and puts on the kettle, and the kitchen is silent for a minute as she works and he waits for the water to boil.

Eventually, Cosette puts down her pen and directs a thoughtful frown at her father. “I have a question.”

“About homework?” says Valjean. “Because I don’t know how much help I can be, but I’ll try.”

Cosette shakes her head. “No, about… life.”

Valjean tries not to look significantly more nervous about this subject than about chemistry or college algebra. “Of course, little bird. What’s on your mind?”

Cosette chews her lip. “Is it wrong to care for two people at once?”

It takes a confused Valjean a moment to figure out the most likely definition of “care for.”

“Is this about that girl you’re—” He searches for the word. “—seeing?”

Cosette nods. “And a boy,” she mumbles. 

Valjean gets a brief, fervent flash of longing for the days when the most complicated thing asked of him as a father was wearing a tiara at a tea party. And then he takes a deep breath.

“I think,” he says slowly, “that it can’t really be wrong to love. Certainly not to love more than you’re expected to.”

“But isn’t it… I don’t know. Disloyal?” She looks miserable and Valjean aches for her.

“Well, I guess I can see how the people one loved might be pained by it. But I don’t think it would be your fault.” He hopes he’s saying right. “It certainly doesn’t make you a bad person. As long as you didn’t hurt anyone on purpose.”

“Oh, I’d never hurt either of them, never,” she says emphatically. Her father’s heart pangs. 

“When we can invite other people into our hearts, that is nothing but a virtue,” he says. “Maybe you should talk to these two, though.”

Cosette nods, frowning at the counter. “I should,” she sighs. There is a short silence.

“And, I suppose,” Valjean says after a moment, “whoever you end up with… bring them over for dinner.”

Cosette smiles. “Thank you, Papa,” she says. “I will.”

 

\---

 

“So you don’t cook?” says Gavroche. 

Cosette laughs even as Éponine, standing at the stove, barks “Gavroche!”

“What?” he says. 

“That’s very impolite. She’s not cooking because she’s a guest.”

Gavroche regards Cosette. “She just seems like the type who would cook anyway.”

“I’m afraid I don’t cook too much,” Cosette admits. “I mostly bake.”

“Like cookies?” Gavroche says with interest. Cosette nods.

“Cookies, cakes, pies, bread,” she says. Gavroche gives Éponine a meaningful look.

“You are not making Cosette bake for you,” Éponine says, stirring the soup. “Not tonight.”

“Later though,” Cosette promises. “What kind of cookies do you like best?”

“Peanut butter!” says Gavroche. Éponine peers over his shoulder on the way to the refrigerator. 

“Gav, you have to show your work. I know your teacher’s already talked to you about this.” 

“Why should I have to show my work if I can do it in my head?” he complains. 

“To prove you’re not using a calculator.”

“You could tell them that you don’t let me use a calculator.”

“No I couldn’t,” Éponine says as she pulls out a stack of bowls from a high cabinet. “Because compromising in order to get along with people is a life skill and I’d hate to deprive you of that lesson.”

“But I’m not compromising!” says Gavroche. “I’m just doing what they tell me to.”

“Well, that can be a life skill too,” Éponine replies, unperturbed, “if it’s not a big request, made by someone who isn’t a bully, and there’s nothing at stake but inconvenience. Like this: Set the table.”

“You’re a bully,” Gavroche grumbles, but gets up and picks up the bowls.

Dinner conversation is fast moving and widely ranged, as it could only be with a ten-year-old at the helm. Sometimes Éponine sits and watches Cosette with Gavroche, and sometimes Cosette watches Éponine with him, but Gavroche usually has a question to ask or an observation to fire off at either one of them to pull them back in if they go too quiet.

“Oh, Gav,” Éponine puts in at one point. “I just remembered. Marius got sent to jail.”

Cosette drops her soup spoon with a clatter. “What?” she gasps. “Why?”

Gavroche laughs. “Don’t worry,” he says. “it’s just Monopoly.”

“They play distance Monopoly,” Éponine explains. “Gav’s got the board set up in his room, and Marius has a diagram of it on his wall or something.”

“If he needs to draw a chance card or whatever, I do it for him. When he’s over we play a few rounds on the board,” says Gavroche, “and in between we tell each other our turns through Éponine or Feuilly.”

“Guess he told Feuilly today?” Cosette asks hesitantly, looking over at Éponine. 

Éponine gives a small smile. “No, actually. Marius came into the deli and had lunch and chatted. It was… very normal.” She clears her throat and tears off some more of the garlic bread she got from the grocery store for the occasion. “And you know, good luck to him ever getting out of jail. He’s terrible at rolling doubles. You’d think it would be random, but no. Marius breaks probability.” She grins. “And he never lies about his rolls.”

Dinner gives way to dessert, gives way to a few games of Uno, still sitting at the kitchen table. Gavroche beats them both soundly twice before Éponine starts gathering up the cards.

“All right, you. Time for bed.”

“I’m not tired.”

Éponine looks at him hard. “Time. For bed.”

His show of dawning comprehension is theatrical enough to suggest he understood perfectly well the first time around. “Ohhhh, all right, I getcha,” he says with an enormous wink. “I’ll go to bed.”

Cosette laughs and Éponine rolls her eyes.

“Move it, twerp. And you’d better brush your teeth. “

When Gavroche has gone to bed, they curl up on the sofa, just to sit quietly. “Gav and marius really get along, huh?” says Cosette.

Éponine nods, smiling. “Gave adores him and the feeling is mutual,” she agrees.

“I know. I talked to Marius recently, and the smile on his face when he talked about Gav… it was great.”

“Well, Marius, you know, he… he gets it,” Éponine says hesitantly. “I mean, his parents are both gone, and he lived with his grandfather until a couple years ago. It’s not my story to tell, but. Well, Marius… he flinches when people shout.” She chews her lip. “He gets it.”

Cosette nods with the understanding of someone who also ‘got it.’

They sit quietly for a while, Éponine’s arm draped over the back of the couch, her hand tracing through Cosette’s hair. Cosette pulls her feet up under her and tilts into Éponine, tucking her shoulder under the other girl’s arm. 

When Cosette finally speaks, it is quiet and tentative. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

“Yeah, course,” Éponine answers easily. Cosette pauses first, even so.

“Back when we met,” she says slowly and carefully, “did you… I kind of got the impression that you… liked Marius.”

Éponine laughs lightly. “Well of course I—”

“You know what I mean,” Cosette cuts her off. Éponine’s laughter falters and stops immediately. She is quiet. Cosette waits.

“Maybe… a little,” Éponine admits. “For a bit.” Cosette just looks at her, with those big, blue, impossible-to-lie-to eyes. Éponine sighs. “For a while. For… a few years. Since the day I first met him, okay?”

Cosette nods understandingly. She pauses again. “Can I ask another question?”

“Oh god,” Éponine whimpers. Cosette doesn’t press. “Yeah, shoot,” she says reluctantly.

“Do you still like Marius?”

“I’m dating you,” Éponine says. “I’m not dating him.”

Cosette smiles. “I think that’s my line,” she says. “Anyway, that’s not what I asked.”

“I would not _rather_ date him than you.”

“Also not what I asked.”

Éponine grimaces. “I… yes. I still do. I thought maybe it would start to go away once we got together, because you’re amazing, you’re wonderful, but… it really hasn’t. But just like you said, I have no intention—”  
Cosette leans over and silences her with a quick kiss. “It’s okay, really.” Éponine smiles weakly. Cosette takes a deep breath. “I have a proposal.”

\---

**Éponine**  
 _Coffee?_  
 **Marius**  
 _sure when??_  
 **Éponine**  
 _B4 ur next class? Im on campus_  
 **Marius**  
 _Be there in 5_

He’s glad they’re okay again, he thinks as he heads toward the Starbucks. He’d certainly had no problem forgiving Éponine, but he was afraid she wouldn’t let him. He’s glad they can go back to being easy friends, doing things like getting coffee, just him and her—

—and her girlfriend, apparently. Marius’s feet stumble when he sees them sitting together, both on one side of their little table. Something in his stomach goes heavy to see them, both of them, not just Cosette. It’s certainly not betrayal or anything like that. But it hurts somehow to see both of them there. He doesn’t know why. He should be happy for them.

“Hey,” he greets, shuffling to a stop in front of their table.

“Hey,” says Cosette.

“I didn’t tell you she was here because I was afraid you wouldn’t come,” Éponine says.

Marius stuffs his hands in the front pocket of his hoodie. “Fair enough.”

“Come on, sit down,” says Cosette. Marius does so, hunching awkwardly over the edge of the table, completely forgetting to get any coffee.

“You guys wanted to talk to me or something probably, right?” he says, sounding resigned.

Cosette and Éponine trade glances. Éponine shuts her mouth tight like there’s something she’s refusing to say. Cosette turns back to Marius, then takes a deep breath.

“We’d like to ask…” She licks her lips. “We’d like to ask you out on a date.”

Marius looks at both of them blankly.

“Both of us,” Cosette clarifies.

Marius blinks.

Éponine starts to sink down in her seat. Cosette clears her throat.

“What?” says Marius helpfully.

“I want to date you,” Cosette explains, “and Éponine wants to date you. And we want to still date each other. So we’re inviting you to date… both of us.”

Marius looks first at Cosette, and then at Éponine, who is in the process of turning dark red. He swallows.

“Éponine… wants to date me?” he asks.

“Y-es,” says Cosette. “And me. Both of us.”

He looks between them again.

“I’ve… never really thought about Éponine that way before,” he says. Éponine immediately pushes her chair back and stands up.

“This was a terrible idea,” she says. Cosette grabs her arm before she can get away and directs a pleading look at her, whereupon she sits reluctantly back down. Satisfied Éponine will stay put, Cosette turns back to Marius.

“How?” she says. This time boy Éponine and Marius blink at her.

“How… what?” says Marius.

“How can you absolutely never have thought of Éponine that way?” She seems genuinely mystified. “Or how can that matter that much? I mean, I never really thought about _girls_ that way unless in a sort of vague, abstract way before she asked me out.” 

Éponine is possibly redder than she was, but there is a sort of smile in the corners of her mouth, even at she stares at the tabletop rather than at either of them, and she mutters something that sounds like “I knew it.”

Marius opens his mouth. Closes it. Opens it again. “I— I just—” Closes it again.

Cosette sighs. “Who do you know who would try to introduce you to girls?”

“Courfeyrac,” Marius answers immediately. Cosette breaks into a smile.

“Courfeyrac? From history class?” She giggles. “I believe you. Okay, that’s easy.” She gets up from her seat and circles around to Marius’s side of the table and sits back down. Marius looks questioningly at Éponine, but she just shrugs, as confused as he. 

“Okay, I’m Courfeyrac,” says Cosette needlessly, before slouching carelessly next to Marius in a very familiar manner. “Éponine, I’d like to introduce you to my good friend Marius Pontmercy,” she says in a flawless impression of Marius’s roommate. “Marius, Éponine Thenadier.” She leans close and stage-whispers conspiratorially in his ear. “Be cool, dude, she’s totally into you.”

It is probably the “be cool” that really does the job. Marius, presented with this simple instruction that even at his best he finds so difficult, is undone by the addition of being cool with a girl who’s “into” him. For a split second he forgets it’s not Courfeyrac talking, forgets it’s not a stranger he’s being introduced to, and in this brief window, his brain cold reboots.

He looks at Éponine, sitting uncertainly across from him, blushing and fidgeting.

And for the first time, Éponine is a _girl._

“Buh,” says Marius.

Éponine raises her eyebrows. Marius swallows, a little bug-eyed. He tries again. 

“You’re…” he says Éponine and Cosette wait. “You’re… really pretty ’Ponine.” She starts to smile. “Why did I never notice that?”

“Well,” says Éponine kindly. “You are kind of an idiot.”

“Yeah,” he says. “Are you really… I mean, do you…”

“Yeah,” she says.

He looks from Éponine over to a grinning Cosette and then back to Éponine. “Well,” he begins. The bug-eyedness is starting to fade in favor of a faintly smiling dazedness. “Well,” he says again. “I guess… would you… would you like to go out with me?” He looks between them again, unsure who to address the question to. “Both of you?” he clarifies, not quite believing what he’s saying.

He almost startles as Cosette next to him takes his hand in hers, and then he watches as she reaches across the table and takes Éponine’s in her other. She is smiling at both of them, broad and warm and happy. Marius lays his other hand palm up on the table between he and Éponine, and after a moment, she shyly takes it.

“Yes,” says Cosette for both of them. “We would very much like to.”

 

\---

 

“I’m not ready,” says Marius. “He said to wait to come over until we were ready, right? I’m not ready.” He is frozen in place, not looking like he has any intention of moving from the back seat of Cosette’s car, ever. Cosette looks in the rearview mirror at Éponine for backup, but her girlfriend looks just as reluctant as her boyfriend does.

“Oh for goodness sake, he’s not going to eat you,” Cosette says, rolling her eyes. She hops out of the car and pulls open Marius’s door with no mercy. “It’s been three weeks, you’re ready enough. He’s really eager to meet you.” She pauses. “Well, eager might be the wrong word. Terrified might be more accurate.” She tugs ineffectually at Marius’s elbow. “Ép, can you help me out here?”

“I’m not ready either,” says Éponine. Cosette levels a look at her, and she sighs and unbuckles to help shove Marius out of the door. Faced by both of their efforts, he sighs and unbuckles too. 

“Honestly I think my dad’s in a worse shape about this than anyone. He’s never had to do this before.”

“I’ve definitely never met the parents of anyone I’ve ever dated,” Éponine points out.

“I’ve never dated anyone,” offers Marius.

Cosette giggles as she coaxes the two of them up to the walk. “Okay, then everyone’s equally out of our depth.” She gives Marius a quick, reassuring kiss, and then turns and delivers one to Éponine too. “Stop worrying. And I hope you guys are hungry. Papa’s a great cook.”

Marius groans. "I'm not sure I can eat anything. I feel queasy."

"Uh oh," says Éponine. "Papa Fauchelevent might get offended and hate you forever.” Marius groans again and Éponine just laughs. She steps forward to straighten Marius’s tie, then thinks better of it and unties it.

“Hey!” Marius squawks.

“She _said_ you didin’t need to wear a tie,” Éponine says as she reties it. “But if you’re going to insist on one you could at least have the decency to tie it straight.”

Cosette just stands back and watches them, grinning. When Marius’s tie is tied to Éponine’s satisfaction, Cosette shakes her head. “You’re still worrying.”

“I can’t help it!” he whimpers. Éponine rolls her eyes and gives Marius a reassurance kiss of her own, although her version features a firm hold to the back of Marius’s carefully combed hair and somewhat more tongue than Cosette’s version. When it’s over, Marius is swaying a little bit.

“He’s not worrying anymore,” says Éponine cheerfully. 

“How about you?” says Cosette. Éponine falters for a second, but then smooths her blouse and sticks out her chin.

“I’m fine,” she says. “I’m pretty sure I could take your old man in single combat anyway if he did try to eat me. Let’s do this.”

Cosette hooks one arm through Éponine’s, and one through Marius’s, and leads them up the walk. At the door, she nods to the doorbell, and Éponine pushes it.

“Don’t you have a key?” Éponine whispers. “It’s your house.”

“He’ll want to answer the door,” Cosette whispers back. After a moment, the door unlocks and swings open, and Cosette’s father is standing in front of them.

“Papa, this is Marius Pontmercy and Éponine Thendadier. Marius, Éponine, my dad.” Valjean takes in the sight of the trio before him, takes what he probably thinks is a surreptitious deep breath, smiles welcomingly, and offers a handshake first to Éponine and then to Marius.

“It’s a pleasure to meet the both of you,” he says. “Please, come in.” He holds the door open, and they all walk in, one by one, into the light and warmth and the smell of supper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the technical end of the story but there may be some more snapshots someday because I have more headcanons about these three dumbs than is altogether good for me. I am not gonna be posting anything for the month of November, however, while I participate in NaNoWriMo. See you lovely readers on the other side! <3

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] The Sad Orphan Kissing Society](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7768078) by [fulldaysdrive](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fulldaysdrive/pseuds/fulldaysdrive), [themerrygentleman](https://archiveofourown.org/users/themerrygentleman/pseuds/themerrygentleman)




End file.
